Dearest Kelly, Nicole and Joshua:

So....here we all are again....apart at Christmas. I don't even have Joshie this year. And it's the end of this century and the beginning of a new one. We have such diverse and yet intersecting lives. Somehow, it seems like we should all be together. But, I can't keep thinking in the negative! You are all so very special to me...and I love each of you in my own special way...the same...and yet different and equally! Some of you I love more than others at times...depends on how mad you are making me when it happens. *S*

But each of my three angels is unique and a marvel of God! How could I...someone so unworthy...have produced such marvelous human beings? Life is so strange and very mysterious.

Kelly, you, as my eldest, and the already father-of-two, know what I mean about all of this. Even though you are a male, somehow, you received the soul of a dove and you "feel" the things that they say only women feel for their children. You are compassionate beyond reason...and this opens you to severe hurt and pain. But don't ever let the world change you. There are rewards worth all the gold in existance...and you will receive them someday.

Nicole, you are about to begin to feel the very first stirrings of life within you. When that precious 'treasure' you carry is born and you hold her (YES! HER!) for the first time, you will know what I mean. I envy you that feeling...and it matters not what chronological child it is. The feeling is there each and every time. Part of me wants that again...and yet...MY time has come and gone. It is now YOUR time for this unique and spiritual experience. Grab it! Hold on to it! It is so fleeting and short-lived...time passes so very quickly.

Joshua, my littlest and most innocent of angels...you may never experience this feeling...you deserve to have it. I will do all in my power to see that you have every opportunity to do so. I am trying, my son...to bend an unbending world into seeing what we, your family, see... a kind, loving and generous young man with such heart and spirit! If that is not God's plan for you...the life your sister and brother have...then there must be some other marvelous direction that He wants your life to take. We just have to wait and see.

I am proud of each of you...of your individual and personal accomplishments...of your sweet, gentle natures and kindnesses to others...of the fact that you are all well liked and respected by the bulk of your peers and that I...somehow...out of all the women in this world that could have been so fortunate...am lucky enough to be your mother.

I love you my Angels...yesterday...today...and all the tomorrows of a lifetime...and I will love you beyond life itself, if that is possible to do.

Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS...take joy in those you love and surround yourselves with friends and people who care about you. We will be seeing each other soon...ALL of us together...in the new century!

I love you all so much!
Mom